A V A T A R : surrendered

 WHAT THE ACTUAL *

i surrendered to the current of life for a  s e c o n d

and saw myself taken away to waters I couldn't even imagine,
to waters where there are fucking opportunity jumping at me;

begging to be in my mouth,

begging for me to choose them,

devour them - integrate them 

within 

me.

i flow within the current this time with  i n t e n t i o n

as i've been washed away by these waters before, before I could imagine,
that new waters bring new fucking opportunities, the fish at first seemed like eagles;

picking away at me,

daunting me with the unreachable,

allow them - to bounce back away

from 

me. 

i see within my currents, finally, with  v i s i o n

as over the years my breath has been lost to the waves, before I could see,
the stones, branches, on my path have been there to help me; 

stopping me from rushing 
and crashing,

branches fallen like rope
to pull me out,

boulders stopping the stream

for

me. 

How do I even begin to give context to the past days, moments or experiences, god, I have to try. 

I went to the women's retreat led by Arm.astus herself.

The codes, the transmissions she passed onto us,
the layers and levels and in depth creatures that she unlocked within us, 

the level of flow I feel myself in, the levels of abundance and love and acceptance,

I can hear nature whispering, life teasing, my heart expanding

-

listen when I say that I'm not in the matrix, i'm in it - playing with it. 

know when I say that I'm freed from the shackles of this society and its expectations - i'm crushing them - they do not influence my course but bless it by showing where not to go. 

could say that I've lost it

could say that I found it

lets go and find out

x