the unexpected

 like, i've experienced unexpected things before.

i've met people that have changed my entire perception on life.

i've landed jobs applied for just as a sad joke but ended up getting chosen and promoted, showing me a side that i never-ever in a million years thought would exist within me. 

unexpected things have happened, but are rare for me. i've observed life so intensely for such a long time that i can almost predict what happens in any given moment. life gets boring really. when i follow a pattern then i know where i'll end up by 6pm that day already at 10am because i've done this before. i've showered a thousand times, written in a notebook, crossed the road - i've seen all the signs prior and post each action that i've experienced so far in life, and that makes all of this a lot less unexpected.

like expecting your mom to change after years of the same behavior. again i saw all the signs before the grand finale even arrived, it's pattern behavior. life is almost like a code that i've learned to read and can't get out of my sight anymore. i hear my friend talk about a situation, i've heard them talk about this before, i'll hear them talk about this again - there's nothing i can say or do to change the outcome of this situation because my friend is experiencing it from their mind. not mine, they don't see the patterns i see. last time this topic was up i said what i thought would help invoke change. overlooked.  pattern looped. i listen again, i say it again. overlooked. pattern looped. 

so i shut up, and i observe, and i'm not surprised because i've seen it before. 

the only time my senses of curiosity spike is when i'm surrounded by a whole new environment. a whole new culture, new people, where i can only expect the unexpected. god those are times that i've felt alive, that i've felt like the human experience is taking me through it all. and it makes me want more, it makes me thirsty for life. 

but yeah too much of anything is bad for you, it was exhausting. and life shifts, there's periods of life that change like the seasons in nature, we slow down, we root, we uproot, we travel. there's cycles we go through, an these always repeat. 

and is yet another pin on how most things in life can be expected, you know the outcome if you look at what you've experienced before. god this makes me so excited to get older and experience more of life, a more diverse, enriched, juicy life. one filled with the unexpected, not the mundane.

SO when i tell you that something unexpected happened,
while i'm minding my own business, rooting my life, planning my future. 

then it well this took me by surprise.
didn't expect, didn't search, didn't chase

wrote it down for clarity,
accepted the possibility,
never even considered it.

and the Universe went

oop