who am i

... often the feelings that transmit into our work lives have roots in our personal lives so this is worth reflecting on, in my case the imposter syndrome at work was strongest when i was in a poor mental health space as a human soul, not as an employee in the matrix.

 I felt disconnected from who i was and what i was doing altogether - as a woman - as a human being on planet Earth. I watched like 20 tedtalks and listened to endless amounts of podcasts, read self help books and arrived at a very simple conclusion= we tend to forget that we're here to just live.

There is no actual purpose for the things that we do in this life, life is a playground that's recess ends with old age.

So to rip ourselves apart trying to make sure we fit in a mold - and when we do, start to wonder that if we even want toa actually take the shape of this mold(?) - is not natural to us. 

Going through life, the motions, jobs, roles, tasks - its like all a current that you should swim with. Thinking "am i in the right water" has no point because you are where you are in your life because of the waters you've dived into, who you've built yourself to be, what you've said yes to and what you've rejected.so what helped me greatly was to finally trust myself, that everything i had done to arrive where i had arrived was on some level a conscious effort to get here - whether its a new role, new country, new group of people - we get to places and people as life guides us, and we are our own life - so we guiding ourselves.

one take on imposter syndrome is that you may have placed yourself in something that is not true to you - if this is the case then its a matter of recognizing what your needs, wants and desires are and making sure you've aligned yourself with this. 

Imposter syndrome was a rollercoaster for me, affected by my personal life and wellbeing as well as the steps i had taken - when I was in a team that wasn't right, i felt so bad there, i felt so misplaced and this fed into the imposter syndromic i was having, because im about support, community and communication and that team was about numbers, processes and security - wasn't my jam -  found out after eating the pancake

we must do what feels right in our core,

and our bodies yell it out loud.

listen to yourself, listen to what you want, see what you've done, who you've become

give yourself a voice and credit, you fucking deserve it